Our Loss and Our Many Blessings

school

OurSpecialChildren

Aug 23, 2007 8:38 PM

Yesterday, my husband and I went and met with my son's teacher (the one he will have for kindergarten). I was a bit worried. usually when we tell people a little about Josh and some of his needs they get real worried. We are use to them, so it doesn't seem like a bit deal to us. We had a meeting last year with our local school district and the teacher, psychiatrist and aid were very stressed about Josh coming there...they didn't have the accommodations he needed at the time. We also recently tried to enroll him in a public internet school(all the lessons are delivered via internet and you teach your child the lessons. There is a teacher who grades the work and helps when you need help. It is all completely free). They denied Josh because of his issues. We called and they made their judgment based on and old IEP form over a year ago. It showed how many hours he would get a week of school time(we was in developmental preschool). We were discriminated against and I am sure how they acted was against some part of the disabilities act which I have found out doesn't always help those with disabilities in the way they need the help. My husband was very angry...but we were so busy at the time we didn't have time to pursue it and we really asked ourselves "do we want our son with people who are uncomfortable with him or don't want him in their program?"
So I was worried about this new meeting. I brought my pages of notes and some test scores from his different therapies. The teacher and another lady were at the meeting. They received the information well. We answered their questions and I even drew a picture of a shunt for them. They agreed to give him his calorie drink around 10:00 everyday, agreed to no hard balls(we were told they could shatter his shunt), extra time to process and think of answers(processing issues), sitting close to the front(vision issues), and let him accelerate in the reading(he is reading very well for his age and having never attended formal schooling). There were many other things talked about and I was happy to see that they wanted to be educated about our son, but were not afraid of him or his few disabilities.
We also learned that school starts on Monday...not Wednesday. Ahhhhhhhhh. We had and Idaho trip planned, I am not sure what we are going to do about that. We learned that this year the whole school is studying American History, which is a favorite of my husband and I. Have any of you ever watched school house rock? We just love the preamble song..."We the people in order to form a more perfect union....." We also learned that Josh's class has only four kindergartners in it this year. He will get that one on one time he needs.
You are probably thinking four kindergarteners...what kind of school is that!? We are sending him to a small Christ based private school. We have gotton to knwo the administrators nad they truly love these children. The school is K-senior in high school. My sister(13 years) goes there and I have attended several familiy picinics, meetings, talent shows concerts. I hope all goes well.
Today I am taking him to meet his teacher and to look around the school. It will be strange to have him gone every week day. I will miss him, but honestly we both need a little break, He needs to be around other adults and kids and I need to spend some time with my other children.
Well, I guess I better get things started here at home. It is breakfast time and we need to be somewhere in and hour and a half. I really get tired, but life must go on. I can't believe I still have four months of pregnancy left. I don't want a preemie, but I hope this time goes by fast. School and activities will start, then labor day, then my brother's birthday, my sister in law's birthday, my mom's birthday, Halloween, then the anniversary of when I brought Joshua home form the NICU, then my birthday, then the due date my twins were suppose to be born on, then Thanksgiving, then my sister's birthday, then out comes my cerclage, then Christmas eve and Christmas and then the baby will be born. Hopefully we will be so busy that the time, pain and discomfort will speed by. Then my sweet baby boy will be here and I will be off to the road of recovery and exercise...never to get a cerclage again!!!!
Tiffany

COMMENTS

• 2 here 2 in Heaven

  Aug 23, 2007 11:15 PM

  It sounds like Josh's school is a wonderful fit for him, and the teachers are very willing to help with whatever needs he has.  That is great to hear.  Please keep us updated how things go this year!

  Shonda

Our Loss and Our Many Blessings

braxton hicks

OurSpecialChildren

Aug 17, 2007 9:03 PM

Well, it is still fairly early here. two kids are awake and one is still asleep. I am grateful that today, we don't have to go anywhere!
I have been feeling the baby kicking for about 3 1/2 weeks now. I really enjoy feeling him move...
For about a week now I have been getting Braxton hicks. I usually get them early on in my pregnancies. When I went to the doctor for my post op on Wednesday, i mentioned that my braxton Hicks had started. while he was doing the ultra sound I was looking at the baby's little legs and noticed a large mass on my uterine wall. I was thinking...oh no, I have cancer or some weird growth. My doctor didn't say anything about it, so I asked what it was. He informed me that it was a Braxton Hick and that the evidence of them remain for about 3-5 minutes after they begin. My little baby looked so squished in there with that dumb braxton hick. I found it very funny that you can actually see braxton hicks and contractions on ultrasound...I have had many ultrasounds and had never seen this before.
Last night I had to lay down early, about 7:00. I was getting more and more braxton hicks. They cause pelvic pressure(another thing I get in every pregnancy) which is not too comfortable. Usually laying down calms my uterus, and the braxton hicks subside or decrease. My pregnancies are scary at times, because I wonder if the braxton hicks contractions are causing cervical change...usually they don't with my cerclage in. I am sure they will increase as the pregnancy progresses just as they always do.
I am now about three weeks away gestationally from when I went into the hospital for premature labor with the twins, and a little less than six weeks from when I actually had my twins. I am about nine to ten weeks away from when I was hospitalized when I was pregnant with my daughter because I was bleeding and my cervix was shortening even with my cerclage in place. I think is is funny that I use those experiences and dates as mile markers for my other pregnancies. After having one preterm labor, I don't think pregnancy is ever the same again for a mom or dad. When we hit 25 weeks we think, "Oh, I know exactly how big the baby is now, I have seen babies at this gestational age."
ON a different note, Josh is starting school in a little less than two weeks. I am excited and nervous. I wonder how he will do, how the kids will act toward him...if he will like it. I think he will love school...it is just hard for me because he will be the first we send to real school. I think I worry even more than some moms because he was a preemie and his NICU stay was very complicated and he still has lasting effects today. He is a miracle...it is amazing that we can even place him in a normal classroom and that he isn't as the NICU staff predicted(a total vegetable...blind, deaf, no body control).
He is starting at private school, so we went and bought his uniforms and shoes. He looks really cute in his uniform..on the first day of school I will be sure to take plenty of pictures, I will post some also.
Thank you for your congrats on our finding out we were having a boy.
Tiffany

COMMENTS

• GradyGabbyAbby

  Aug 17, 2007 9:12 PM

  Tiffany,

  Get plenty of rest, don't push your self.  If you can, get family and friends to help around the house.  

  Good luck to Josh as he starts school!!  

  How exciting!!  :)

  Colleen
• Kathryn:Mom&NICU Nurse

  Aug 17, 2007 9:46 PM

  Tiffany,

  Braxton Hicks on the ultrasound are the weirdest things!  I hope that the next couple of weeks go smoothly.

  Thinking of you!!!!

  Kathryn
• pj'smom

  Aug 17, 2007 10:12 PM

  Tiffany-

  I did not know that you could see Braxton Hicks on an ultrasound either.  That must be amazing to see.

  I hope that you will join us for our Live Chat on the 21st because it will be all about going back to school and with having Josh starting soon it should be right on the mark for you.

  Hope to "see" you there.

  Melissa
• dinamarie

  Aug 18, 2007 2:56 AM

  Tiffany,

  I didn't know you could see BH on ultrasound.  That's interesting.  I am thinking of you and wishing you all the best.  

  Can't wait to see the pics.

  Dina
• PHOENIX'S MOM

  Aug 18, 2007 7:55 AM

  I missed your blog about you having a boy so I will give you congrats now.  I wish you well in your pregnancy.

  Good luck to Josh on his first day of school.

  Angi "Phoenix's Mom"

Our Loss and Our Many Blessings

It's a boy!

OurSpecialChildren

Aug 17, 2007 12:00 AM

I went to my post-op appointment yesterday. I took the whole family because I knew I would have and ultrasound and probably find out what the baby was.
We are having boy number four! that is a lot of boys. When I was growing up I imagined myself with a house full of girls with matching dresses and hair bows. I guess we will be doing more boy stuff! I am excited.
Josh thought it would be a boy and so did I. My husband, Hannah and Nathan all thought it was a girl. I do feel sorry for Hannah not having a sister. She and I looked at baby clothes in a store. she helped pick out a newborn boy outfit. She kept looking at those cute pink ones though. Then she said, "Maybe someday if we adopt a baby it can be a girl and then we can buy some of these pink clothes." It was really cute.
We do want to adopt. My husband and I have talked about it since before we had children. This will be my last pregnancy, and I feel that there are some children still missing, so I guess we will do our best to adopt...boys or girls. My husband wants to try to adopt a deaf child.
My doctor looked at my cervix and says it looks great. The new cerclage is holding well and should not come out. He said this kind should cause less scarring and wouldn't hurt to take out any more then the old McDonald cerclage. He put in a cerclage called a Shirodkar. I am glad that after this pregnancy I never have to get one again...five is a lot.
I have a definite due date now also, It is Jan 8, 2008. So I am just over 19 weeks! My doctor will take out my cerclage about a week before Christmas, and hopeful I will have the baby before the new year without being induced. This time we are going to try to prevent another nine pound baby, and prevent a home birth(Nathan came in 1 hour and 20 minutes and all my doctor did was break my water...no drugs to start labor). My grandma had her last one at home with one labor pain. Yikes!! And that baby(my uncle) was three weeks early and about 12 pounds!
Now we just have to think of a name. We have already used our six favorites up on the first three boys. I like Elijah Paul or Elijah Daniel. Paul(my husband) Likes David better....more traditional sounding.
Well, I better run. My house is a mess, I need to make lunch, I am tired(I stayed up too late last night scrap-booking Jacob's pictures), and I have a friend coming over to visit....she called and asked if she could come.
Tiffany a soon to be mother of four boys and one girl!

COMMENTS

• Kathryn:Mom&NICU Nurse

  Aug 17, 2007 12:22 AM

  Congratulations on your baby boy!

  I am so glad to here that th surgery went well.

  Keep us posted.

  Kathryn
• GradyGabbyAbby

  Aug 17, 2007 1:27 AM

  Tiffany, that's wonderful news!!  I'm so glad that everything is going well.

  Please continue to keep us updated!!

  Colleen
• dinamarie

  Aug 17, 2007 1:30 AM

  Congratulations on a boy!!!

  I am so happy everything is going well.

  Thinking of you, Dina
• ehbeagle

  Aug 17, 2007 4:48 AM

  Congrats on your boy!  I also imagined that I would have more girls, but now I have 2 boys and I would not trade them for the world.  I will be thinking and praying for you.  God bless

  Elizabeth
• PHOENIX'S MOM

  Aug 17, 2007 7:27 AM

  Congrats on the news that your having a boy!!!!  I hope that everything goes well for you and your family.

  Angi "Phoenix's Mom"

Our Loss and Our Many Blessings

What happened?

OurSpecialChildren

Aug 14, 2007 12:32 AM

That was strange...my blog posted before I even wrote anything but the title. I will write my blog now. Weird! I am up and not having to lay down all day...I am so excited! Maybe if I get to it I will work on Jacob's scrapbook some more..I am nearly done after six long years.
Anyway, to Elizabeth who asked how we are potty training our two year old son, I first have to say every child is different. Our first son wasn't potty trained until he was four because he was a 25 week preemie with a shunt and mild cerebral palsy. We weren't sure if he was capable or not. He didn't seem to be until he was about four. I noticed when he started gaining control and pooping his pants on purpose. I told him not to, he did it anyway and so I put in in the "naughty chair" in his poopy pants. He cried and cried. He hated the "yucky" feeling. I felt really guilty, but he knew better....he never messed his pants on purpose again!!
My daughter Hannah potty trained herself when she was two years and about two months old, the week Nathan was born. Very funny! She gave us no trouble at all and about a month later was hospitalized for two weeks for a staff infection. She had to have three surgeries and though it all she only had two potty accidents that happened when the anesthesia was wearing off from two of the surgeries. The medical staff were amazed by her. They didn't weigh diapers for her, she had to potty in a hat...everyone thought she was at least four years old. My husband and I thought....oh, she is good at this because she is a girl. She was potty trained before Joshua was.
With Nathan my two year old it has been a totally different experience. He was capable, physically ready(this kid can run sideways just as fast as forward) and had been practicing since he was 17 months old. He is extremely stubborn and likes to be in charge. My husband and I were frustrated because we both knew he was purposely messing his diapers. We had tried a few times before and Nate would stay dry and clean for two days, get tired of it and purposely potty and poop in his pants. The books always say don't punish a kid when you are potty training, but this was a control issue for Nate. It is sick to change diapers if you know your kid is capable. With Josh he just wasn't capable at two.
So I was talking to my mom for advice. I was trying to come up with a natural consequence for purposely going potty and poop in the diaper or underpants. It just didn't make since to take away toys or t.v. Those things had nothing to do with potty training. My mom had a spark of inspiration. She suggested spraying his bum with cold water if he did it again. It sounds so mean, but I tried it.
Before I tried it I talked with Nate(he also understands better than most two year old boys his age). I told him what would happen and why it would happen. I told him that when he did a poop in his underpants it made his bottom smell bad so we would have to wash it off with cold water to get him clean. I also used a ton of positive reinforcement. We talked a lot about how old he was now and about his birthday that he had in June. We talked about the presents, cake and balloons he had. We also talked about how he was too big for diapers because he was two now; and diapers were for Hannah's baby dolls. It sounds like a lot, but whenever he would give me trouble about sitting on the toilet to go I would remind him of all these things, and it worked. I only had to wash him off with cold water three times. Once for poop and twice for potty(all were done on purpose). He learned fast who was in charge....me the Mama!!!
He is now telling us whenever he needs to go and has stayed dry now on most nights. He loves his cool underpants and I think he feels good about himself. He runs around the house and shows each family member his underpants for the day. Yesterday my parents were over and he ran up to my mom who was laying down and stuck his bum right in her face and said, "Grama look...my turtle underpants!" He asks to look in the mirror at himself and his great underpants.
Again, I want to point out that this probably won't work for any child with developmental delays(especially preemies). I could have never sprayed Joshua's bottom with cold water in the bath tub. He would have been so confused and physically incapable at two years old. Nathan is not a little skinny kid with tons of medical problems like Josh was. Emotionally, I could have never done that to my preemie(sometimes I still get images of Josh hooked to wires and breathing tubes). But I didn't feel bad doing it to Nate, a full term capable ornery two year old who was trying to control everything. You know what? After this experience he is even going to bed better...no more screaming in his crib...he just goes to sleep!
Oh the joys of parenthood...potty training. You know what? Eventually, most of us learn how to use the toilet. In twenty years will it matter if you were potty trained at four or two? Probably not!
What a silly blog! I hope you all have a nice day!
Tiffany

Our Loss and Our Many Blessings

update

OurSpecialChildren

Aug 12, 2007 6:00 AM

This last week, my entire family got the stomach flu...yuck! I didn't get it thankfully and it didn't last long. My husband had to take Josh to the emergency room because he wouldn't stop crying about his eyebrows hurting. He would fall asleep and start crying again in his sleep. I knew what it was...a shunt headache from being dehydrated. We had tried to keep him hydrated, but our best efforts weren't good enough. We requested a C.T. scan to make sure the shunt was fine and to check his ventricles. They were a little small...he received some IV fluid and then came home. The next day he was playing outside and back to his normal self. I was exhausted from the week.
We had also started potty training Nathan our two year old a few days before the flu hit. He did well even though he was puking. In fact he was sitting on the toilet going when he threw up the first time...poor kid. It has been just over a week since we started the potty training thing and he has it down...except only half his nights does he stay completely dry. He always stays dry at nap time. He loves his big boy "Diego" and "Cars" underpants. I am proud of his progress. No more diapers. We had been changing diapers for six non stop years(many of those with two in diapers at the same time). No more diapers for us until the baby is born in December or January.
Yesterday, I woke up early to start packing. It was the annual family reunion. I had gotten permission from my doctor to go, but he limited the activities I could do. I was a little relieved to have a doctor's orders to take it easy. Basically all I was to do was go, sit in air conditioning, eat and visit.
So anyway, I got up, went to the bathroom and noticed that one of my cerclages came out(my doctor put in two for safety reason)!! I knew full well what a cerclage looked like because I saved the ones from my pregnancies with Hannah and Nathan so that someday they could see what kept them in. I wasn't bleeding, but in the middle of the night I did feel a strange lumpy feeling inside. I told my husband, laid down, called my doctor and my parents and my husband prepared things to go to the hospital. I was so worried. I thought maybe I was silently dilating or funneling. I had never heard of a cerclage falling out before. I thought that maybe I would loose the baby.
My mom showed up and my husband and I were off to the hospital. I laid in the back of the van on the way there. Then my husband went into the ER to request a wheelchair and a bed before I went in so I didn't have to sit in a waiting room forever. After having a traumatic experience and loosing one twin you are very very cautious..even if other people think you are silly.
I got admitted and moved to the OB area. They did an ultrasound of my cervix and miraculously it was long and closed still!!! My worry subsided, my doctor came in and a surgery was arranged to replace the cerclage that fell out. He said he had never had this happen before in the 25 years he has been placing cerclages. So, I got my IV and waited nearly all day for my turn in the OR.
Finally it was my turn. I was wheeled to the OR and prepped. Then I fell asleep. When I woke up it was all over. I was so relieved. The recovery nurses had no info on how the proceedure went. The doctor didn't come and talk to me, but while I was in recovery he talked to my husband.
Finally I was brought back to my room where my husband was waiting. He told me that when my doctor checked my other cerclage to see how it ws holding it was also coming loose, so he removed it and place a thick(1/4 inch) mesh tape in it's place...or I should say sewed it in the old cerclages' places. He said this one would not come out! Usually for a cerclage they use a thread that resembles thick fishing line...something like you would use to catch a big sturgeon. I was shocked to find out I now have a thick tape inside of me. I am worried about he scarring it may cause or how painful it will be to remove. It already hurts bad enough to have the normal cerclage removed(It can feel like you are on fire...especially if it gets stuck like two of mine have). Oh well, there is nothing I can do about it and ultimately what matters is a healthy full term baby.
So now I am on bed rest for a couple of days. We are all bummed because we couldn't go the reunion, but very grateful that my first cerclage fell out before we left and not while we were hours away from home.
Next week I go to get my cerclage checked. For that I get an ultrasound..So hopefully we will find out what the baby is. I really think it is a boy. I have an ultrasound scheduled for the 20th, so I am not sure if I will be keeping that appointment or not.
I have been feeling the baby kick and move for about two or three weeks now. The pregnancy is finally starting to feel a little more real.
I also wanted to mention that we had a great time in Spokane for Josh's birthday(July 28). Everyone had so much fun. The kids enjoyed riding rides and swimming...I enjoyed watching. We also had some doctor appointments while we were there. Hannah(4) and Josh(now 6) saw their lung specialist. They are both doing great! Josh is doing so well that he doesn't have to take his nightly nebulizer medicine anymore. This is the first time is several years he hasn't needed to take daily nebulizer medication. He still takes his singular and has nebulizer medications for when he gets sick. He is really progressing! If he gets sick a lot than he will go back on the daily neb meds, but for now, we are free of the nebulizer!
I also had an appointment in Spokane with an ENT for some severe dizzy spells(vertigo). They tested my hearing first. I could tell there was something wrong when I couldn't hear tones for long periods of time. Then they came in the silent box and put different types of earphones on me and tested again. I have slight hearing loss for some low tones in my right ear and slight hearing loss in my left ear for some high tones. They think I have something called meneires disease or "hydrops." It is an inner ear problem that causes hearing loss, vertigo and ringing in your ears. The attacks can be unpredictable. I can hear better from the bone behind my ear than I can just in my ear. They are hoping that this condition is a pregnancy induced thing and that it will go away after the baby is born. After the baby is born I will go back and get more evasive tests done. This condition is not super common, but by chance my husband's grandmother(in her 70s') has it too. I am still so young to have this. I was shocked, but there is nothing I did to cause or to choose this and I have no power to make it go away. They suggested a low sodium diet which can help and is the only treatment I can have as a pregnant person.
On a different note, we(my family and I) released our balloons for Jacob on the anniversary of his death on July 30th. It was a great experience. He had and has such a special spirit. I know he looks down on us and loves us just as much as we love him. We took pictures again this year of us sending our balloons up into the heavens. Maybe someday I will post some of them.
Well, my arms are tired from typing at such an odd angle(I am laying down--bed rest), so I should go. Thank you for all of your kind words on my last posts. Thank you for caring.
Tiffany

COMMENTS

• katestclair

  Aug 12, 2007 8:40 PM

  Wow~girl you have been busy.  I'm glad that things are still going well for you...Rest when you can!!  I know it's hard with other kids...

  Keep us updated when you can.

  Hugs

  Kate
• ehbeagle

  Aug 13, 2007 3:01 AM

  TIffany,

  All I can say is "What?"  I have never heard of a cerclage falling out either.  I am glad that all is well though.  I also want to know what you are doing to potty train your 2 year old.  My son wants nothing to do with it.  Anyway, I will keep you in my prayers.  God bless

  Elizabeth
• weerock

  Aug 14, 2007 12:17 AM

  Oh my goodness - I have never heard of a cerclage falling out!  Good thing you were home...I"m so glad.  Glad things turned out well.

  The balloon release sounds beautiful, I'd love to see pictures.

  Denise
• dinamarie

  Aug 15, 2007 4:49 AM

  Wow Tiffany...I am so happy everything is OK.  Take care, Dina