I have been having a bit of a rough time lately.  I have had a lot of worries and concerns.  David isn’t growing anymore and we have been taking him to Spokane for appointments and testing.  It seems that he has quite a few allergies along with reflux.  I worry about that and what to feed him.  I worry about what I am suppose dot eat too.  I worry about Josh’s schooling and his medical issues. I worry about Hannah and Nathan.  Hannah longs for female companionship.  Nathan needs male companionship and a lot of attention at times.  Elijah is my happy smiley boy that needs time too…………time to be read to and played with.  I worry about Paul.   He seems to be running ragged too.  Recently all of the stress and doctor trips have really taken just about every bit of time and every bit of mental capacity.  My prayers and scripture study have really suffered.  I have gotten mastitis twice in the last few weeks.  I am pretty sure that is from stress. 

I want our family to be a happy one; one that sings and plays together; one that laughs and smiles.  Instead often I have kids that are afraid to speak up, kids that aren’t listening, crying kids………..it just isn’t what I picture as a happy family all of the time.  We do have our great times and fun times, but lately it has been stressful and not very fun.  I want to figure out how to change this.  I am living my dream…………..married to a great man, my best friend, and a house full of wonderful children.  But some of the things that have happened and are happening were not in my dream and sometimes it is painful and sometimes sad and sometimes confusing and sometimes just plain stressful.

Tonight I felt God’s love for me again.  I know he know me and he knows all of my worries and He wants us to feel happiness and peace.  Tonight we had a wonderful family discussion on the importance of scripture study.   We discussed how to approach the scriptures and the blessings we could receive if we did.  Mom and dad were here with us.  It was really wonderful to hear everyone’s ideas and to hear Mom, Dad, and Paul share stories and testimonies with us about their experiences with giving blessings and following the promptings of the Holy Ghost.  Even Hannah shared a story she had read in a New Era.  I was able to sing with Hannah tonight and it was wonderful.  Later I read some journal entries my sister had sent Mom.  They made me so happy. Victoria is really becoming an amazing person. I am so very proud of her and all that she is doing and becoming.  Then I watched President Monson’s address for this most recent women’s conference from last night.  He talked about the importance of prayer and scriptures study………….especially in times of trial. He misses his dear wife so much.   I will try to do better at my prayers and scripture “feasting.”  Maybe it will help my mind somehow be able to focus and get more done despite the extreme overwhelmed and overburdened state I have been in.  I really have so many blessings to be grateful for.

I want to make a few goals in a few areas. 

Wife

1                     1. Hug/kiss my husband every day

2                     2.  Smile at my husband every day

3                     3.   Dance once a week

Mother

1                     1. Hug each child everyday

2                     2.  Do something fun or silly everyday

3                     3. Find time to listen

4                    4.  Put uplifting music on more often

5                   5.  Read with my kids

Self

1                  1.  Pray at least once a day sincerely

.                    2.  Read The Book of Mormon before Victoria gets home

3                  3.  Exercise at least three times a week

                      4. Write down my experiences and feelings

Service

1                1. Write at least one letter/note a week

                    2.  Either call or visit my sisters once a month